SCIENCE, HEALTH
Photo by @diamondrehabthailand from Unspalsh.com
Maybe yours is for sugar, alcohol, binge eating, negative self-talk, drugs, smoking, gambling, sex, social media, shopping, or something else. (Or even a combo of a bunch of these).
Feeling addicted to, or craving, something can be really hard to cope with, especially if it’s for something that we don’t feel is supportive for us.
Indulging in the addictive habit can feel good in the moment, but later can bring on a lot of guilt, negative-self talk, and adverse health consequences.
I have overcome a lot of addictions myself, and it takes a bit of work to get there, but once you do it, it’s the most liberating feeling. You become free of their constraints!
I was once addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine and drugs. By doing some work however, I am now free of all of these things. Never did I ever think that it would be possible. It feels too hard when you’re stuck in it- but it IS possible!
My next and final frontier is sugar…. and that is a work in progress!
Addiction is a chronic dysfunction in the brain that stems from the reward based learning pathway.
Habits (that can lead to cravings and addictions) have three elements-
Reward based learning goes back to the cave men/women days. Back then, we’d see food we wanted to eat and our brain would get excited- “Yay calories… and survival!”
We would eat the food and as a reward, our brain would tell us- “Ah that’s SO GOOD! And also you’re alive!”
Since it felt so good, our brain would say- “Remember what you ate and where you found it!” This played into our survival and so the brain created a habit loop based on reward.
We needed this reward pathway, and it would play over and over in our brain until it became a habit…. And unconscious.
Since the habit became mindless, it freed up valuable brain space for other tasks- like running away from lions etc.
So let’s look at the elements of behavior, using the cave man/women finding food as an example-
NOW in the modern world- food isn’t hard to find, AND we experience a lot of things that make us feel bad. Like stress from work, kids, endless to-do lists, social status etc.
SO, we now have stressors in our lives that make us feel bad, but we have the same primal brain trying to use the same reward based program. So we search for things that make us feel good.
Therefore we quickly learn that if we eat ice cream, or smoke a cigarette, or drink a bottle of wine, that we “feel good”, and then the primal brain is happy.
So feeling ‘sad’ or ‘mad’ triggers us to eat/smoke/drink/binge/gamble/shop/whatever.
These behaviors play into the same reward based pathway in the brain that was purely there to keep us alive back in the day, except for now we live in a world of abundance and stress. For most people, survival in the basic sense is no longer the main priority.
Our brain is smart… but we can outsmart it. We can train our brain to do things a little differently.
There are some “hacks” that we can tap into to change our habit forming brain.
Each week in this blog series, I will be going over a new “hack” to help you move from mindless cravings and addictions, to aware and healthy action.
As I mentioned, our brain loves to ‘automate’ processes to free up brain space for other things. This used to be so we’d have brain capacity to survive.
These days it’s more so we have brain room to work effectively, take care of the kids, or choose between Florida or California for a beach holiday.
A LOT of what we do day to day is mindless. It wouldn’t behoove us to have to re-learn every day how to walk, eat, get dressed or go to yoga. The brain sets up pathways for all of that, so we just go about our day as normal and without thinking.
The brain also, as discussed, automates pathways to help us feel good when everyday stressors hit us. That’s where our addictive behaviors and cravings come in.
SO, the first step in addressing undesirable habits/cravings/addictions, is to foster some AWARENESS around them.
This can be tricky at first, as often we have already carried out the behavior before we know what is happening.
So, start out by getting curious when you perform the behavior. Putting the behavior on your mental radar might actually help you catch it before you’re doing it. Either way, just get curious about it.
Step 1: When you notice a craving for something arise, or even if you’re already engaged in the behavior, just stop for a moment and take a pause.
Step 2: Move away from wherever you are and go into a different room, or go outside if it’s safe/temperate to do so.
Step 3: Once in a new location, take 2-3 slow and deep breaths to center yourself. Try to breathe slowly and deeply down into your belly, then slowly release.
Step 4: Ask yourself- “What am I feeling right now?”
Maybe you’re bored, tired, lonely, restless, angry, sad, stressed, or something else.
Step 5: Then ask yourself- “What do I REALLY need right now?”
If you’re bored, maybe you need an activity, if tired, a nap, if lonely, to connect with a friend or hug your pet, if restless, to go for a walk, if angry, to scream into a pillow or workout, if sad, to talk to someone you trust, stressed to drink a glass of water, journal or go for a walk.
Get curious here- what is your body telling you?
Step 6: You may find that you still want to partake in the behavior, or maybe that you don’t. Either one is ok. Right now you are just starting to create awareness around previously mindless activities.
Remember to be kind to yourself during this process. Cravings and addictions are NOT YOUR FAULT. They are down to our primal brains and the habit loops they form.
Alongside awareness, use this time to start practicing the art of self-loving kindness. You are doing this wonderful practice for yourself because you’re awesome and you deserve it!
Focus on progress over perfection.
This awareness practice has two effects-
Start practicing this regularly, whenever your cravings crop up. Over time you might start to notice patterns emerging.
It is helpful to journal about what comes up. This can help to process your feelings, and it’s also a record you can refer to in order to notice patterns.
As the patterns become more clear, then you can get curious again and start to look at the rhythms of your daily life.
What in your life can you ADD or modify to help overcome the things that are coming up for you?
Get curious
In the meantime, if you feel like you are suffering with addictions that you can’t manage. Know that you aren’t alone. Talk to a licensed Therapist, or look up community support groups in your area.
Here are some groups that can help-
Here at Relish Life we work with some of our members to tackle cravings and addictions. We have Health Coaches and trauma-informed Therapists that specialize in this area.
We also have plenty of free resources that you can tap into- in our free Facebook group, blogs and newsletters. . If you’re ready to take the next step, join us on the other side and start Relishing Life.
Melissa is a British-born Health Coach who knows firsthand how difficult it can be to manage the emotions that surround weight. After decades of weight control and yo-yo dieting, Melissa studied to become a Health Coach and effectively coached herself through the process. Through learning how to eat intuitively, Melissa gained a new perspective and shifted her focus from ‘dieting’ to nourishment. She also learned how to recognize and address trauma and stress in her life. The stubborn weight she had held onto for years just melted away.
Melissa LOVES to help others figure out and conquer their own personal health and wellness goals. Following a life-long enthusiasm for alternative medicine, Melissa trained at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where she received in-depth training in nutrition, health and wellness, and coaching skills.
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